Just Gay

The Wicked Witch never died- she just sneaked away with her Fiyero in the end.

I am officially done with BYU and the LDS church. I graduated in April, and I'll be sending in my letter of resignation to Salt Lake very soon. It feels so good to be out and to be resolved. I am lucky to have made it out in one piece, and even luckier to have found the love of my life while I was at school. Then again, I guess marriage is what BYU is all about. Yes, it's a very happy ending to this blog. At the end of the day, I'll tell you that the reason I needed to join the LDS church, alienate my family, leave the country for two years, and suffer through BYU was to meet a boy and fall in love.

For anyone who is reading this blog as a gay BYU student, please understand that if you decide to leave the church, you CAN find happiness and fulfillment. I know that it's really really hard to make the decision, but there are so many people out there who are willing to help you through. Feel free to email me or to reach out to the blogging world to find out more about the moho community.

So I suppose that's it, though you can be sure you'll hear from me again. We already have a joint blog in the works. I'll be in Utah for the rest of the year, but after that you can look for me back east- most likely one of those purple states.

I'll let John Rzeznik have the last word-

"You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in"

Under Rug Swept

I wrote this as a comment on Calvin’s blog not too long ago, and based on what I’ve read on other blogs lately, I think I want to turn it into its own post. I guess I’m a really non-confrontational person; arguing and judging make me really uncomfortable…

Yeah, I hate arguing too- it just makes you tired. So in friendly response to some of the above comments: the reason why sometimes we focus so much on gayness is because it affects our future concerning the highest and most sacred gospel covenant- marriage. Especially here at byu, most everyone my age is focused on relationships and getting married. This all works out fine because it's part of the gospel and people can make dating a spiritual experience, putting Heavenly Father first as they seek out an eternal companion. But for mohos, this is not true. Pursuing our feelings is contrary to the gospel, which makes it difficult to concentrate on relationships and on our gospel progression at the same time. The alternative, of course, is to not pursue any gay relationships, but that doesn't take the focus away from gayness. Marriage is the most important decision that one can make in this life, so deciding whether or not to get married because of ssa still gives gayness a prominent place on the stage. I think that we just need to show the same mercy and patience that Heavenly Father shows in our interactions with those struggling with their testimony because of ssa. What we do about gayness might have eternal consequences (I guess that that "might" just gave me away as one of the struggling ones), so I think we can be justified in talking out our feelings and weighing both sides. This can be tiring, and yes- there is more to life than your sexuality- but sweeping things under the rug doesn't make things better. Still, it's a shame when insightful discussion turns into arguing.

Finally, I apologize if I've ever been argumentative. I ask questions and challenge doctrines because I'm finding out that I don't know all that I thought I knew.