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Monday, November 12, 2007

Happy is what Happens

It’s been a little more than a month since I started blogging and re-coming out to people. These last few weeks have been some of the most exciting, turbulent, joyful, painful and peaceful times that I can remember- a definite circus of emotions; I couldn’t have hoped for a better welcome into moholandia! Admittedly I’ve made a cannonball dive into the moho pool (some might think of it more as a belly-flop) and my splashing has gotten some people pretty wet as they’ve tried to keep me from drowning, and for this I sincerely apologize. I want to thank Brady, Therapevo Ydata, Calvin, Pan, Kengo, Romulus, and Peter for helping me learn to begin to swim and for enduring my waterworks.

So where do I stand now? Well, I feel really peaceful about where I’m at. I think I’m starting to come to terms with who I am and what life may have in store for me. I’m still not clear on every issue, but at least I don’t feel stagnate anymore.

And where do I stand regarding the Church? If it isn’t obvious yet, I’ve been wavering for a long time. I still find peace in prayer, scripture study, and even attending church- I can’t stop being a spiritual person- that’s just not an option. I still have a firm faith in the Atonement and in Heavenly Father’s perfect love. But I am struggling to believe other things that I thought I knew. But as I said, despite my testimony troubles, I feel happier and more alive and at peace than I have ever felt before.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22-23

“Wickedness never was happiness.” - Alma 41:10

67 comments:

Therapevo Ydata said...

I'm glad that I could be a friend to you, even though I haven't been around very much.

One thing that I have noticed from my experiences is sometimes I perceive happiness and think I am happy, but there is something that is always bothering me deep inside myself. Sometimes I can't place it, but when I do, I know that there is something that I need to change.

I believe that Satan has the power to make us believe that we are happy when we really are not. A personal example is when I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. I thought I was happy and having a good time with it, but then after a while, I did not feel like it brought me the same happiness and all along I knew that those feelings we deep inside me, but I was hiding them with Satan's help.

So my advice is just make sure that you are truly happy with what you are doing and that you will have no regrets for what you have done later.

God loves you and so do I! :)

biggins said...

Glad you've found more peace and happiness in your life, and here's to hoping you'll be able to ever find more and more of it!

Kengo Biddles said...

With regard to the Church, cher Draco, if it's true, what else matters?

playasinmar said...

Happiness matters. Happiness never lies.

It can't.

Brady said...

I'm glad that you have found happiness in life. It is definitely a liberating experience to finally be open about your feelings.

I'm sorry if I have been the cause of some of your waterworks. I hope and pray that you will continue to find happiness.

If "wickedness never was happiness" does that also mean that "happiness can never be wickedness?" Maybe your logic can help with that one...

Forester said...

You're at an important time in your life when the decisions you make now will have a profound impact on the rest of your life. Happiness is what we make it. We can be happy no matter what situation we find ourselves in. Even in the darkest of times, we can be happy knowing that we are cared and loved for by an all-knowing and all-loving God.

draco said...

It's an example of a Modus Tollens argument, which are always valid. I feel really dorky knowing this, but here's the truth functional reasoning:

If W -> ~H
H
___
~W

If wickedness, then not happiness.
happiness.
_________
therefore not wickedness

The two statements are also syllogistically equivalent:
w=wickedness
h=happiness
E=not

any E statement is equivalent to its converse, so Ewh = Ehw, which means (no wickedness is happiness) = (no happiness is wickedness)
This probably makes no sense at all; i guess i just got excited at the chance to actually use what i learn in school :)

biggins said...

I can testify that what Draco said is true. Stupid logic rules, I never thought I'd see any kind of application for them in real life.

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