"One day our generation..."

I took my dear friend Luisa with me to the Matis’s FHE yesterday and she had a wonderful time. :) Luisa comes from a nuclear LDS family; her father is in the stake presidency, her mother is an amazing do-everything woman, and all of her siblings are active and have been married (or will be getting married quite soon) in the temple. Luisa and I grew up together, and in high school I remember her being one of the most conservative people ever and she was very outspoken about her views. She was the one who invited me to church and to listen to the missionaries. Since then she has been through a few years of college and served a mission, and now I think she’s become more of a moderate, even embracing some liberal ideas.

Luisa was so excited to see people that she knew at the FHE. She hurried over to them laughing and bubbling. :) When they saw her they gave her a look and asked, “Wait, are you…?” She told me later as she was looking around the room, “You know, I don’t know which ones are "family" and which ones aren’t, and it doesn’t really matter. Maybe some people here think I am "family"- I don’t really care!”

I was happy to see that she felt so comfortable in that environment, where I’m sure a lot of Mormons would not. It gives me hope that with time, more and more people will become more understanding of our situation- looking past the “ick-factor” of SSA and reaching out with loving arms.

(I love you Luisa!)

The Parental Debate

Four years ago I came out to my parents. They already suspected that I was gay, but it was still a bombshell for them. What hurt them the most, however, was the fact that I had confided in my friends and sought their advice and even the advice of some of their parents before I had trusted my parents with my dilemma. They were absolutely heartbroken and I still think my mom gets upset about it, even though it was so long ago.

After I joined the church I stopped talking with my parents about being gay and they didn’t bother to bring up the issue- not until my mom asked me about it a year ago when I got home from the mission. I snapped at her and told her I never wanted to talk about it again; she cried and I left the room. I’m sure that my parents still wonder about me. And now that I’m coming out again- even if I’m only peeking out of the closet- I wonder if I should go to them for advice and comfort. Even though they were disappointed when I came out in high school, they were so compassionate! They both wasted no time in telling me that they loved me just the same and only wanted to see me happy. I love them so much!! Oh man, I’m crying as I’m typing. Well, I could go on forever about how wonderful they are, but I’ll cut to the chase. I don’t know whether it would be wise for me to talk to them again. Have I already made the same mistake I made in high school- talking to my friends before I seek guidance from my parents- cutting my comfort off? But since my parents (and none of my extended family) are members of the church, I don’t want my homosexuality to somehow get in the way of the possibility of them joining the church in the future. I mean, they already have a hard enough time dealing with me being the black sheep Mormon of the family- my mom cries every time I talk about the temple or getting married because she can’t come. I definitely need to keep praying for guidance, but maybe one of you can be an inspired messenger- any suggestions?