Meet Mr. Nietzsche

Friedrich Nietzsche is perhaps most well known as a philosopher for his quote “God is dead and we have killed him.” He thought Christians were brainwashed slaves- slaves of traditions and morals that favored underachievement (what Christians call humility), and of deception (the fact that we have a biased, self-glorifying concept of “good”). What then is “good” in Nietzsche’s mind? The will to power- that doesn’t necessarily mean power over other people; rather, Nietzsche is referring to having power over oneself. In other words, people should try to overcome the temptation to blindly accept widely held truths or traditions and be brave enough to question, delving into the unknown. In my mind, that is what takes real humility and courage.

Nietzsche also condemns Christianity for parading as a love-filled way of life when so much of it is based in hatred and pity. The Christian doctrine of Final Judgment, he says, was born out of a bitter resentment that the lower class held toward the wealth and power of the noble class. Today it simply serves as a way for any Christian to feel satisfied that their enemies, the people that they envy, and those who belong to any opposing order of society will be punished, securing eternal power and superiority for the Christian.

Of course, I don't agree with everything that Nietzsche teaches (and I still consider myself to be a Christian), but I think his point of view deserves fair consideration. I think that most Christians, whether consciously or subconsciously passing judgments, fit Nietzsche's description- I know I certainly have felt a sense of validation or vindication on several occasions when I have reassured myself that some mean or stuck-up person would get theirs at Judgment Day. And I'm sure that there are plenty of Christians out there who rest easy because the feminists, the intellectuals, and the gays will all get their comeuppance in hell (or in the terrestrial kingdom, if you prefer). Am I wrong to think that this doesn't sound like a very loving way to think about other people? Really, it's not surprising at all that atheism is so popular. I think we all should be a little more Nietzschean.

Down with Big Brother

I think that I'm slowly changing my mind.

I've been wanting to say that the church is the right choice for anyone who sincerely feels that the church is true- I think I've been using the phrase "live and momentous option." But now I'm not so sure. If believing in church doctrine fosters bigotry, belittling, pride, elitism, and most of all if it hinders a person from thinking for themselves, then the option is momentous in a negative way and should be abandoned. Even if it simultaneously fosters service, devotion, prayer, modesty, and teaches peace, hope, and charity- real Christ-like love is not attained when any of the former qualities are present.

And I believe this is true not only for Mormonism but for any organized religion. Does God really want organized finger-pointing? Sadly, I think that many people belonging to any organized religion are too caught up in being right to be genuinely loving people. They may have their moments of charity and understanding, but there's no escaping the innate selfishness of the phrase, "I am right and you are wrong" -especially when we have no way of proving whose religious ideas are true. However, not all followers fall into this category. Some of my dearest friends (yes, some of them are Mormons) break the mold. And I am very blessed to have parents that are pretty open-minded as well. My mother has told me more than once that she wonders if in the end we will find out that none of the religions had it all right; more and more I am inclined to believe that she is right.

Life is about learning to love, and though almost any organized religion would agree with that notion, religious division frequently seems to prevent people from achieving true charity because they mistake pity for real love. I think a person is better off being an understanding atheist than a pitying believer.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is that I am feeling particularly disenchanted with organized religion in general and especially with Mormonism, since that is what I am presently most familiar with. I am not saying that it is bad to be a spiritual person or even a religious person- just so long as your religion doesn't turn you into a brainwashed raging finger-pointer on a pedestal.

Projections of Reality

We as human beings are professionals when it comes to projecting. From projecting election results to projecting our noses into other people’s business- it just comes naturally. In fact, we do it everyday. We define our reality by projecting what we want or need to be true onto existence. No matter how much we claim to be objective about our interpretation of what is real, we just can’t seem to escape subjectivity. We want something to be true, so we say it’s true and then find reasons that make it true, projecting our morals and measurements onto nature. This is true of religion, of social standards, and even what we consider to be the most fundamental laws of reality- being, identity, causality, and time. We can’t or don’t want to understand the world in any other way. This of course does not mean that all of our projections are false, but it certainly calls into question the soundness of our beliefs. So how, when so much of our truth is faith-based, can we claim that one way of looking at the world is better than another? It’s time that we start being more honest with ourselves and accepting that we are addicted to projecting. Hello, my name is draco and I am a bona fide projectionalist.

Oh Say What is Truth?

I had another thought provoking conversation with Luisa recently about the nature of religious truths. We pondered and laughed and I think Luisa even cried a little, and in the end we were both a bit dizzy- you can only philosophize so much before your brain starts aching- but we were able to talk out some interesting ideas. Here is some of what we discussed:

There is a difference between truth and Truth. The first refers to that which a group or an individual person may believe to be veridical, and the second with a capital-T indicates actuality- ideas that are True for all people. The first big question is: How can a person know that some religious truth (Mormonism for example) is Truth? How can we know for sure for sure for sure that the LDS faith is True and that all other faiths may be true, but not True? The answer is that you can’t know for sure (see my previous post “Do you know what I know?). Well if I can’t know for sure, does it matter what religious position I take? I think it does. I think every person should choose that religion which, as William James explains, offers the most “live and momentous” option. That is, each person chooses to have faith in those beliefs which he feels are most probable and spiritual and those which will have the best impact on his life. In LDS theology, this would lead everyone to be a Mormon; but is it really the case that Mormonism is the best religious option for everyone? I don’t think it is. I have met many people who just can’t believe in Mormon doctrine. It doesn’t make sense to them, it doesn’t ring true for them, and some are even repulsed by some of our tenets, even after prayer and honest inquiry. My mother is a perfect example. She has prayed about her faith and sincerely feels that God has told her not to join the LDS church. And I don’t think she’s been deceived at all. I think she would feel out of place in our church and that it would not make her happy. The methodical Mormon way of life and worship, as beneficial and happy as it may be for some people, is not the kind of worship and religion that feels right and rings true to her or to BILLIONS of other people.

So here we are, a human race with countless different ideas about religious truth- all searching for absolute Truth and some claiming that their religion already represents absolute Truth. Millions of people pray to their God and testify to having received their own answer about which doctrines are right and which are wrong, and the answers they receive conflict with the answers that others receive. So who is right? Where is capital-T Truth among the tens of thousands of little-t truths? Maybe- just maybe- it doesn’t matter. Maybe the real Truth is that God is the source of all our varying creeds and doctrines. But God is only one God! He can’t give two opposing revelations! Well maybe God is a lot more open-minded than we are. Maybe he knows us so well that he has inspired thousands of religious ideas to accommodate for our varying personalities- so that we can choose those religious tenets that will best help us to worship, to come to know him, and to learn to love. Isn’t that what the Bible says? “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Galatians 5:14). So maybe finding ultimate religious Truth contained in only one religion is not terribly important because it doesn’t exist. Perhaps our task in life is instead to take faith in that which best helps us to become loving and compassionate people. Maybe it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, if you believe in a non-anthropomorphic deity, or if you pray through the Virgin Mary. We all claim different truths, but perhaps the only real religious Truth that we can really be sure of in this life is the necessity of learning to love and be loved.

Now if you’re a Mormon you probably disagree with me. But just stop and really think about it for a minute- why do you disagree with me? Is it because Mormonism has already made up your mind for you about it? Is it because you have proof that I am wrong? I think that all too often, we Mormons stop thinking for ourselves. Once we have our testimony that the church is true we get to stop asking a lot of questions. We call it faith but the rest of the world calls it indoctrination- believing dogmatically, blindly and with bias. If only we all could doubt for just a moment- open our mind and question things. Are we afraid to be wrong? Are we afraid of change? Are we afraid of being misled? We pick the last of the three questions, but how do we know we haven’t already been misled?

I think the LDS church is wonderful. For so many people it is the balm for religious aching. And I think some people need to feel that security of feeling like they have found the great absolute Truth. But isn’t it possible that God’s plan is more extensive than we believe it to be? When I began my religious quest almost 5 years ago, the first promise I made was to my mother; I promised her that I would never stop searching for Truth (or maybe it was just little-t truth- she didn’t specify). I think I found quite a bit of it in the LDS church, but I don’t think I have found what is wholly true for me nor what is a fullness of Truth with a capital T.

God in a Box

My mind was wandering in my philosophy class a few weeks ago while we were discussing the attributes of God. The following argument popped into my head- feel free to hate it, but these are the kinds of things that I think about on a daily basis.

The Dragon’s Argument Regarding God’s Purpose

1) God’s purpose is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man (by “man” we can assume “humankind”).

2) God is perfect.

3) Since failure implies imperfection, a perfect being never fails to accomplish its purposes.

4) Thus God never fails to accomplish his purposes.

5) Not all humankind will achieve the immortality and eternal life contained in God’s purpose.

6) Thus, either God will fail in his purpose because he is not perfect (2-4 are false), premise 1 is not God’s purpose, or all humankind will somehow achieve immortality and eternal life (5 is false).

Draco’s objections:

a) God is bound by the laws of justice and agency. It is not he who fails, but humankind that fails in achieving eternal life.

b) “Man” does not refer to all humankind, but rather to all righteous people.

The Dragon’s Rebuttal:

Objection (a) is irrelevant; the purpose still belongs to God and so failure to bring to pass said purpose belongs, at least in part, to God.

Objection (b) is false. Purpose implies a desire to accomplish something, so objection (b) argues that God does not desire for all humankind to achieve immortality and eternal life. Further, the scripture does not say “righteous men,” but simply “man.” God loves all of his children equally and equally desires each person’s immortality and eternal life.

Wow- talk about philosophy mingled with scripture! Ever since I joined the LDS church, my mother has told me that she thinks we try to put God in a box by claiming we know more than we can know about the nature of God. Perhaps she is right; perhaps we limit God too much in our thinking which leads to problems and contradictions like the one above. I'm not saying that God is all mysterious and distant- I think He can be very personal and close. But sometimes I wonder if we don't try to put our thoughts into God's head.

Live and Let Live

"No one of us ought to issue vetoes to the other, nor should we bandy words of abuse. We ought, on the contrary, delicately and profoundly to respect one another's mental freedom: then only shall we bring about the intellectual republic; then only shall we have that spirit of inner tolerance without which all our other tolerance is soulless, and which is empiricism's glory; then only shall we live and let live, in speculative as well as in practical things." -William James

Of the Devil

I know that my last post was about tolerance, however, there are certain things that are absolutely intolerable. The following is possibly the strongest philosophical argument that I have come up with to date. I want to address one of the most serious sins that Mormons commit- and if you have committed this sin then you automatically lose 100 points. I’m talking about the plague of plagues- that disgusting practice called scrapbooking. What? You think it’s harmless? Oh, oh- you have been deceived! Here is my unshakeable proof to show you how scrapbooking is of the Devil.

1) At least 95 percent of scrapbooking is kitschy (for those who are unfamiliar with this word, it basically connotes tackiness, suckiness, ugliness, doilyness, and granny decorationsness).

2) Scrapbooking is a waste of time. You could be playing with your children, spending time with your family, reading a good book, or alphabetizing your soups; pretty much anything is more productive. Why spend hours on end kitsching up your photo album when you and your posterity will almost never look at it. I see no problem with keeping a regular photo album- it’s nice to look back on happy times- but seriously, is decorating your album going to make the memories any happier. No. If anything it will just kitschify your memories.

3) Scrapbooking is a waste of money. Someone could start a college fund for their child with the amount they spend on scrapbooking.

4) Satan wants us to waste our time, waste our money, our talents, and he likes kitschy things.

5) Therefore, Satan wants you to do scrapbooking (!).

“But people like my scrapbooks!” you might say. They’re just lying to you. When you pull out the scrapbook to show to your poor guests, you think you’re sharing memories with them. But at the same time you’re implicitly saying, “Here, hold this waste-of-time book for a while and look at all the kitschyness.” And if the person is not a scrapbooker, they say, “Okay- wow, this is pretty fancy!” They are really thinking, “Okay- wow, this person sure wasted a lot of time on this kitschy book.” If the person is a fellow scrapbooker, then they’re really thinking, “Oh, I hope my scrapbook is cooler than this one. If it’s not then it’s off to Scrapbook Heaven to load up on ribbons and kitty cat stickers!”

See? Satan likes people to scrapbook. It also causes other people to waste their time. Now I’m not saying that scrapbooking is damnable (though I wouldn’t be surprised if the issue came up in General Conference), but I’m almost positive that all your scrapbooks are going to hell- where they belong! Sorry.

Waking Up

"The man who has no tincture of philosophy goes through life imprisoned in the prejudices derived from common sense, from the habitual beliefs of his age or his nation, and from convictions which have grown up in his mind without the co-operation or consent of his deliberate reason. To such a man the world tends to become definite, finite, obvious; common objects rouse no questions, and unfamiliar possibilities are contemptuously rejected. Philosophy... is able to suggest many possibilities which enlarge our thoughts and free them from the tyranny of custom... it removes the somewhat arrogant dogmatism of those who have never traveled into the region of liberating doubt, and it keeps alive our sense of wonder by showing familiar things in an unfamiliar aspect." -Bertrand Russell

Meet The Dragon

As a missionary, I was pretty much as “flecha” as they come. That’s Spanish for “arrow” –it means that you’re really a stick-to-the-books, no nonsense, sometimes-bordering-on-overbearing kind of a missionary. I was so sure of my testimony and what I taught, and sure that people needed to know what I knew.

In the mission you hear questions like, “Why does it matter what church I go to? All of them teach you to be good...” or “Why should I go to your church? God already led me to a different one.” These questions come up all the time and you eventually find out the best ways to answer them; “Well Christ only organized one church when He was here, so there should only be one true church today…” or “God always conducts the church through a prophet…” and a number of other responses which help people understand our claim of absolute truth. Sometimes investigators or hecklers present more challenging questions and doubts, but truth be told none of them were faith-shaking or scary for me. I was confident in my testimony and knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel and in my ability to defend our doctrines.

But now that I’m back at school and studying philosophy, I regularly have to deal with questions that can be pretty frightening if you really think about them. I feel like most people in my classes have blinders on; they either shrug away the questions with a quick answer or insist that asking such questions is a waste of time or dangerous because they lead people into apostasy. Orwell was right: Ignorance is Bliss (sorry- that was a little bit cynical). If I want to keep and fortify my testimony, I have to find answers to these questions because they are sources of doubt; I see no element of faith in dismissal. Isn’t the most repeated message in the scriptures “seek and ye shall find?” So by now you’re probably wondering of what kind of wild questions I could possibly be thinking. Well they’re not simple questions, so I’ll throw out just one for now. If you’ve ever read Plato, Aristotle, or a number of other philosophers, then you’ve probably seen the dialogue format of presenting an argument. I think I’ll try that here so you can see that this is a real battle that goes on within me. Let me introduce you to the Dragon:

The Dragon: “If most religions help people to be better and to feel closer to God, does it matter what faith a person follows?”
Draco: “He should seek out and follow the religion that teaches only true doctrines. This is the best religion.”
The Dragon: “How can he know that the doctrines of any given religion are true?”
Draco: “He must rely on spiritual experiences.”
The Dragon: “You mean miracles?”
Draco: “Not in the usual sense of the word. I mean that he must pray and receive an answer from God as a feeling or reassurance.”
The Dragon: “I see. So “God,” or perhaps more appropriately “some divine source,” since not all religions believe in your idea of “God,” should tell me what religion I should follow.
Draco: “Precisely”
The Dragon: “And He will tell me that I should follow what you call the best religion, or that religion that teaches only true ideas.”
Draco: “Yes.”
The Dragon: “And does He always give the same answer?”
Draco: “He is one God and thus has only one truth- so yes, He will always guide people to the best religion.”
The Dragon: “But there are millions of Christians belonging to sects that claim opposing truths. And there are millions of people belonging to other religions- Buddhists, Muslims and Jews. All of these millions of people profess and are sure that they have had equally confirming spiritual experiences that justify their faith over other beliefs. So if millions- many more millions than those belonging to your church- assert that they know that their religion is the best religion, how can we be sure that your spiritual experiences are more valid and truth proving? Perhaps there are just as many millions of people who have had spiritual experiences specifically guiding them away from your church as those who have been led inside.”
Draco: “Then their experiences were false or inspired of evil sources, because this church is the only one that contains a fullness of truth.
The Dragon: “How do you know? Perhaps it is you who have had false or evilly inspired experiences.”
Draco: “But I know that what I believe is true!”
The Dragon: “Prove it.”

Man, that Dragon is tricky! I’m sorry to say you’ll probably be hearing more from him in the future. This argument is inspired by Hume and William James, just fyi- not that you probably care. I just didn’t want to take credit for someone else’s idea.

Paradoxical Ponderings

I love philosophy. I love to wonder about things- to seek light and truth. I guess this whole blogging thing is just a way for me to express the thoughts and events that I don't usually share with my friends and family because, well, they're all either not gay or not Mormon. It's so frustrating to not have anyone who really understands you- at least anyone who is not deity. Lately I've been pondering and praying about how homosexuality makes any sense at all. Why would God allow this to happen to me? I know that's a pretty trite question which has an equally trite answer: to try me, to humble me, to help me grow. Of course I agree with these answers, but somehow, there still seems to be something that doesn't fit. I guess the question that follows is whether or not God gave me this burden. At the very least, he allows it to persist.

According to church doctrine, the feelings of attraction that I have are not sinful because I cannot control them, but it is bad to act on them in any way. Homosexuality is kind of unique in that way- a sin which only becomes a sin in action, but not in thought. Compare this to lust (which goes beyond feelings of attraction). One begins to sin with thoughts which lead to sinful actions. And what about anger? Angry thoughts can be just as sinful as the words and actions often born of those same thoughts. Stealing has its seeds in covetous thoughts, which are obviously sinful.

"A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny or fate of circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires." -James Allan

So all these sins have roots in sinful thoughts. But homosexuality is different. There is nothing wrong with me feeling attracted (not lusting) toward another guy. These thoughts are not sinful. However, as soon as I act on them in any way- kissing for example, which is a perfectly acceptable effect of heterosexual attraction, then I have sinned, according to LDS doctrine. Why is that? Why would Heavenly Father allow me to have non-sinful thoughts and feelings that promote sinful behavior? Some would say, "Well, we're all tempted; there's no sin in temptation. I can be tempted to steal, but as long as I repress the thought and make room for good thoughts, then the initial thought of stealing is not a sin." But homosexual attractions aren't passing thoughts that go away if you hum your favorite hymn. I don't think anyone can say that they have the temptation to steal, or commit murder, or have sex at every minute of every day. But I AM attracted to guys all the time- it is not the same. "Oh yes it is- it's just a temptation that you have to resist." No- there is a difference between temptation and attraction. I can resist, avoid, and even eliminate temptation ("It is our own desires which determine the sizing and the attractiveness of various temptations." -Neal A. Maxwell), but I cannot eliminate an attraction. If you're heterosexual, try it. Just stop being attracted to the opposite sex. Unless you're some freak of nature, you can't.

Let me add one more twist to my question. There are only worthy and unworthy thoughts and feelings- no in-between thoughts or feelings. Either a thought or feeling impedes my personal worthiness, or it is acceptable and does not impede my worthiness. Certainly some worthy thoughts and feelings are better than others, (it is more uplifting to think about God's love than which brand of cereal to purchase) yet they all fall into the same category of worthy thoughts. Think of it this way: having pondered about cereal brands one minute will not impede me from giving a priesthood blessing the next. Now, as I already mentioned, homosexual attraction (which could be a thought or a feeling or both), as defined by general authorities, is not something that causes personal unworthiness- as long as I don't go lusting which is just as unworthy to do for a heterosexual. So we can say that homosexual attractions are worthy feelings, insofar as they do not make me unworthy. Here's the question again: Why would God give me worthy gay feelings (or at least gay feelings that are not unworthy) that I cannot follow worthily?

Now in my head I am thinking, "Draco, you're just mingling the philosophies of men with scripture and twisting words, and you know who else does that!" I admit that last paragraph is kind of a stretch- but remember, these are just musings and ponderings- not firm beliefs. I see no wrong in searching for answers to questions that I think are very pertinent to my salvation. God gave me reason, so I would be foolish not to use it. And of course the only way to confirm human reasoning is through divine confirmation (prayer), to which principle I hold fast. I'm sitting on the fence right now, and I don't think I can jump one way or the other until I'm sure that I'm leaping into safe pastures. "Well you won't receive any witness until after the trial of your faith!" And yet to which side of the fence should I invest my faith? Should I have faith in church doctrine and attempt to abandon homosexuality, or should I have faith that my feelings of attraction are acceptable and try kissing boys? I am so confused.