Signs and Confessions

Now that you know a little bit of what’s going on inside my head (and trust me, there is more to come), I guess I’ll share a little bit about myself.

So as I’ve been coming out to some of my close friends recently, I’ve been wondering if they kind of knew all along. After all, I kind of fit the stereotypical mold of gayness- but maybe I’ve been good at hiding it? I made a list this morning during one of my classes of things that might appear, well, pretty gay to other people. So this is a chance for me to be proud of these things instead of feeling embarrassed about who I am. Especially for those of you who know me, I hope you’ll get a laugh out of this.

-I love shopping, unless it’s at someplace like Home Depot
-I have gone shopping just to buy chap-stick
-I have all the songs from Wicked memorized- “Don’t wish, don’t start- wishing only wounds the heart… he could be that boy, but I’m not that girl.”
-The ring tone on my cell phone is from Wicked.
-I like to sing along with Celine Dion- in the same octave. I also have Madonna, N’Sync, BSB, Britney, Christina, Alanis, Hanson, Jewel, Amy Grant, Darren Hayes, Jesse McCartney, Justin, Mariah, and everything Broadway on my i-pod. Is that bad?
-I have taken ballet and I liked wearing tights. Yes, I liked it!
-I pluck my eyebrows.
-The hairspray that I’m using right now is called “Herbal Essences- White Nectarine and Pink Coral Flower. Oh man, it smells so good!
-Speaking of hairspray- definitely the hottest movie of the summer!
-I’ve colored my hair 5 times this year- in fact, I think I’m due for number 6 pretty quick here…
-I don’t like watching sports. Except during the Olympics when they show the men’s diving and swimming… yep.
-I have softer hands than most girls and even some babies.
-When I went home for summer break, I spent a whole day watching a marathon on Bravo of America’s Top Designer- such a great show, but I was kind of bummed when the cute guy got kicked off- I guess he had it coming; his clothes were too gay.
-This is one of my favorite backgrounds that I put on my desktop -->
-I like using those mud facial masks.
-My handwriting is “really pretty.” Seriously, I’ve made girls jealous.
-One of my favorite movies is The Matthew Shepard Story. Another one is The Little Mermaid.
-I used to wear a thumb ring.
-I have a crush on Matt Damon, Sean Austin, and (sigh) Zac Efron.

And actually the signs go all the way back to fourth grade-
-I had a bright purple coat.
-I had Lisa Frank folders for my homework- the jumping dolphins were so cute!
-All the girls used to play wall ball at recess and no boys were allowed. They gave me the nickname “Frutia” so that I could play with them. I remember my mom was really concerned when she heard this, but she just didn’t understand- I mean it was just a nickname…
-And by 6th or 7th grade I was sure that I didn’t like girls like the other boys did- but all the boys started looking pretty attractive. By the time I started my freshman year in high school, I knew that I was (gulp) gay.

I’m sure I could add to this list; it was far too easy to make. So now you know some of my gay little secrets and tendencies. You know, I usually get offended (despite Elder Bednar’s council) when people call things “gay” or “homo.” But maybe we’re partly to blame, you know? After all, we’re the ones who make all of these “gay” things seem gay. I guess as long as it’s not used derogatorily, I can keep my cool if someone calls some hot new song or some smokin’ piece of clothing “gay.” Yeah, I think that’s a dandy way of handling things. (Man, that last sentence was gay!)